My Treat
by DisorderHaven
Summary: (Kisame x reader) When Kisame is subject to searching for the Eight Tails, Samehada finds himself a delicious smelling chakra... And Kisame has never been one to turn down a treat.
1. Kidnapped

The first time he saw you was in the Land of Fire.

He and Itachi had been passing through the borders when your small patrol unit ran through a clearing right beside them.

A shiver of pleasure ran through Samehada down to Kisame's back. The man smiled. Samehada had found an appetizing chakra.

He turned to look at Itachi, whose face was concealed by his straw hat.

"Shinobi," he said.

Itachi's head dipped down in an understanding nod.

You and your team swiftly disappeared into the woods, your sent of chakra flowing in the air like an aroma. You had not noticed him, but he certainly noticed you; [h/l], [h/c] hair rippling in the wind, small figure keeping up with the jounin leading your patrol team. Samehada had found a cute one.

The corner of Kisame's mouth pulled up. "It would seem I'm hungry."

Itachi titled his head so one dark eye showed.

"Then eat."

~*v*~

He had made plans to pick you up after they caught the Jinchuriki.

You would have made an excellent meal for Samehada, and Kisame wouldn't have minded playing with you a little first. But things had gotten scrambled after Sasuke killed Orochimaru; with Itachi's death, Tobi's identity, and half the Akatsuki dead, Kisame had been subject to whatever mission was needed. And thanks to Sasuke's failure he was left to search for the Eight Tails, whose whereabouts were entirely anonymous.

He was left to wander from place to place with no Itachi to subject his complaints or musings. And Samehada had grown weary and hungry, often growling in annoyance with the petty chakra he got from lower shinobi and rogues.

He still craved for yours.

Kisame didn't think much of you in those days. An average girl doing average missions for the Leaf was beyond his necessary attention. Granted, Samehada had found your chakra pleasing, but this hardly subjected Kisame to search for someone so unessential to the orders Madara had given. So he had forgotten about you, and in time Samehada did too.

Until the day you played right into his palm.

~*v*~

He had been passing through again, not knowing where the Eight Tails could be. He didn't bother to mask his presence as he slowly made his way through the same field he had first saw you. He was feeling reckless and Samehada was hungry, so whether he was attacked or not made no difference to him. The same dull chakra and the same boring fight was all anyone had to offer him.

And indeed, your patrol unit gave him just that.

In a matter of minutes both your captain and two other teammates were lying unconscious, and Kisame was more bored than ever. He had hoped that the Leaf shinobi would have put up more of a fight, but he supposed he would have to pick one with a jounin or higher to get any pleasure.

He shot you a dull look before dropping Samehada to the floor, not sure if he wanted to continue or wait for someone more interesting. But Samehada's shark skin rippled until blue poked out from behind the white wrappings.

It was that chakra again.

Kisame's lips tugged up at the sides and his eyes widened. He remembered you now – that cute girl with the enticing smell back from when he and Itachi had been working together. You were mixed with a feeling of nostalgia, and it made him even more joyful.

He lifted Samehada and rested the sword against his shoulder.

"Found you," he sang, teeth catching the sun.

You crouched into a defensive position, kunai out and ready. "What do you mean?"

He laughed. "How cute you look with that spark of hatred in your eyes. I thought the Leaf didn't fight with that look, but instead honor and bravery?"

"You killed my comrades and you expect me look at you with honor and bravery as if you were a worthy adversary?"

"Kill them?" Kisame said, frowning. "How boring. I only took enough chakra to render them immobile. They'll be able to move in a few hours. You aren't any match for me; it would make me look weak if I killed such lowly opponents."

"Don't talk about my friends like dirt!" you snapped, pulling the knife higher and your body lower. "If you aren't here to kill us then why is a member of Akatsuki wandering around the Land of Fire?"

Kisame frowned even further. "I thought I knew."

"Thought?" You lowered your kunai and gave him a confused look.

"But it seems your chakra has changed both of our minds," he replied, grinning so wide his pointed teeth parted. "You will make an excellent treat for Samehada, and I find you invigorating as well."

"Wha –"

He vanished from in front of you, and you felt his hand hit the back of your neck.


	2. Blush

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kisame or anything Naruto nor am I, in any way, making money off my stories. All rights reserved to Masashi Kishimoto. **

Kisame walked towards your sleeping form and set Samehada down beside you. The shark skin trembled at your scent. It had been far too long since he had eaten such a pleasing chakra, and he was growing more and more impatient. Blue poked beneath the white wrappings, irritation and hunger drawing a growl from the sword.

Kisame clicked his tongue. "Now, now, Samehada," he murmured. "You're supposed to share."

He bent down and gripped your chin, turning your head from side to side to get a better look at you. "What a waste for you to eat her," he sighed. "I needed some entertainment; without Itachi things get dull. And she's so cute, too."

Samehada growled in response. Kisame chuckled lightly and released your face, your [hair/color] hair falling across your cheek. He wondered just what he would do with you. Feeding you to Samehada _would_ be wasteful… He had been so bored without Itachi that he wouldn't mind having a little entertainment. And after all, you were a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf, you must know _something _about the Eight Tails.

He brushed the hair out of your face, fingertips grazing across your cheek. Yes, you could be a useful tool. Samehada's appetite would just have to wait until he could get some information out of you.

Samehada's shark skin rippled as if he could read Kisame's thoughts. The man chuckled. "You'll just have to be patient; we could use her, and the mission comes first." The sword gave a very unpleasant chakra to Kisame, making him scowl. "You can have her once I finish! It won't take long, you spoiled thing."

Kisame lifted you and stuck you over his shoulder. With one last glance at your unconscious teammates – debating whether or not he should finish them off or leave them – he departed, sending chakra to his feet to give him extra speed. The nearest hideout would take a day to get to, even with constant travel, but your extra weight was sure to slow him down, and he wondered if it would take two.

It would have made things much easier for him if you had stayed unconscious, but unfortunately for Kisame, you were a nuisance that was meant just for him; he had not been traveling three hours when you came to. He felt you move, your stomach pressing into his shoulder, and he heaved a sigh.

"Awake already?"

You mumbled incoherently in response.

Kisame chuckled, but didn't stop running. He might as well get as far away from the attack sight as possible; it would be extremely troublesome to have to fight _and _watch you. He made an annoyed sound before jumping onto a tree limb and launching himself forward.

The jerky motion made you wake even more, and you rolled just enough that your lips pressed into his neck. He gave a startled cry and lost his footing, the tread on his shoes useless as he slipped on the tree branch and tumbled off. He flipped over so he was cradling your body, and with a teeth-chattering impact landed flat on his back. Samehada gave an unpleasant groan, and Kisame cursed himself for saving you when he should have unclipped his sword and tossed it somewhere where he _wouldn't _have landed on it.

You were fully conscious now, your palms pressing against Kisame's chest as you peered down at him. He cursed himself over and over for being an idiot; how could he have panicked so much when all your head did was roll into his a little?

His eyelids lifted and he blinked up at you.

"Slipped," he said dumbly.

You screamed.

Kisame shoved himself to his feet and began to chase after your running form, profanities spilling from his lips as he did. He got a terrible feeling that all you were going to bring him was trouble, and he really could use a lot less of that considering his current position beneath Madara. Hunting the Eight Tails was hard enough; he didn't need a Leaf shinobi dragging him into unfortunate situations and making his mission harder.

He gritted his teeth as you pulled a branch back and let it go, the wood slapping him in the face and cutting his cheek. He began to have second thoughts about using you for information, and instead contemplated giving you right to Samehada.

"Brat!" he yelled, jumping and tackling you to the floor.

He pinned you down by your wrists and straddled you.

"Let go of me!" you yelled, struggling beneath him.

"Ooh, quite the little spitfire, aren't you?" he chuckled, and gave you a toothy grin. "I wonder if I can break that hmm?"

"Get off me you pervert!" you spat, and tried to kick him off. "Get your filthy hands _off_ me!"

He let you struggle for a few moments longer before squeezing your wrists until you flinched in pain. You stopped moving and lay still, your head throbbing from it hitting the ground when he jumped on you. "If you keep fighting me I'll break every bone in your body until you cooperate," he growled. "Are you going to be a good girl, or should I start with your arms?"

"I-I'll stay still." You nodded as best you could and squeezed your eyes shut.

Kisame released your wrists and sat back, still straddling you. He was really beginning to second guess his decision of kidnapping you. Whether it was for information or for Samehada, he was sure you would put up a tiring fight until the end.

He blinked as a small streak of crimson rolled from beneath your head and into a circled pool. He slipped a hand behind your neck and lifted you just enough to catch a glimpse of red streaked through your hair. He sighed.

"Why didn't you tell me you hit your head?"

"That's a little difficult when you're attacking me!"

He stood up and stretched his hand out for you to take. You stared at it skeptically, internally conflicted as to whether you should accept it or not. After a pregnant pause and a tense atmosphere, you slapped your palm against his and wrapped your fingers around the cold skin of his hand. Kisame hoisted you up.

"We'll camp here for tonight then," he said, not sounding very pleased. "We'll patch up your head too; can't have your brains oozing when I need information."

You ignored his last comment and walked a few feet away to a tree. You slid down until you were sitting with your back rested against the trunk. Kisame gave you a very annoyed look before pulling out a kunai. He took the hem of his Akatsuki cloak and cut off a chunk.

"What are you doing?" you asked, staring at the piece of torn fabric in his hand. "Why would you cut your cloak? Isn't it important?"

He scowled. "Of course it is, but your head is bleeding and we don't have anything to stop it."

"O-oh," you murmured, cheeks tinted pink. "I would have cut my own shirt."

"Mine needs to be fixed anyway," he grumbled. He sat down beside you and forced you to turn around. He dabbed the cloth to the wound before wrapping it around your head and tying it securely. "It's already torn up and could use mending. What's a little extra tear?"

You looked down at your hands, but stayed silent. Kisame watched as piece of hair fell across your pink cheeks. He realized that he was still gently holding your head, your soft hair tickling his palms. He felt his own cheeks grow warm and quickly stood.

"There's a river nearby," he said in a clipped tone. "I'm going to get some fish."

He didn't wait for your reply as he speedily made his way into the dense forest, not even caring if you had the perfect opportunity to run away. His face was growing warmer and warmer by the minute, and the more he thought about it the warmer it got. And the more he thought about your flushed cheeks and the way your hair felt beneath his fingers, the more his face was overtaken by a deep, burning sensation.

He put a hand over his mouth and cheeks, feeling the heat roll of his skin.

Hoshigaki Kisame – member of the Akatsuki – one of the Seven Ninja Swordsman of the Mist – the Tailed Beast without a tail – was blushing.

He pressed the hand harder into his face.

He was blushing!

How he _wished_ he had fed you to Samehada the moment he found you; the trouble you were stirring up inside him was worse than he had ever imagined you would cause. It was far worse than running away, getting them attacked, trying to kill him, being adamant about not speaking, or making Samehada mad at him. You were making his heart race.

And he didn't like it.

At all.

[A/N]: Sorry it took so long to update! Very busy with nagging parents and NaNoWriMo. ;A; Anyways, here the next chapter! I hope you enjoy!


	3. Bark Is Worse Than Your Bite

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Kisame and all things Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto. You belong to Kisame ;) **

"Neeeeeeee," you whined for the twentieth time in an hour. "How much farther do we have to goooo?"

Kisame's eye twitched, but he didn't respond.

It was only the first day of traveling to the hideout and you were already driving him nuts. You had made it perfectly clear you would be a handful, but to be childish to such an extent...

Why _him_?

"Neeeeeee, Kisame-chaaaan," you tried again, jogging to keep up with his quickened pace. "Are we almost there?"

He stopped walking and you ran into his back. You took a step away and rubbed your nose. Kisame rounded on you, his whole face an awkward, angry purple. "Will you just shut_ up_?!"

Your mouth contorted as you fought to keep yourself from laughing. "I'm sorry, am I bothering you, Kisame-chan?"

"And _stop _calling me that!" He snapped, the purple hue darkening.

"I was just asking if we were almost there..." you mumbled, pinching your lips together and looking away.

"For the love of... No!_ No we are not there yet!_" He yelled. "Does it _look _like we're there?! Honestly?!"

"No..."

His whole face twitched and his hands were closing and opening. "THEN WHY DO YOU INSIST ON ASKING?!"

"Oh, Kisame-chan your face is turning such a funny color!" You pointed out, reaching up and squishing his cheeks with your palms until his lips turned into a fish pucker. "Can people's faces really turn purple? Or is it just because your skin is blue? Ah, you look so much more like a fish with your lips like this!"

His eyes dulled and he glowered down at you as you continued to press his face together and giggle. No, such idiotic and childish acting was impossible. You were his _prisoner_; his _hostage_; you were his spoil of war! Cowering in fear and crying is what you _should _have been doing, but instead you were treating him like some kind of pet!

"Oi, are you an idiot?" He growled, smacking your hands away. "I am your captor – the man that plans on torturing and killing you! And yet you dare tease me?"

"Impossible," you replied.

His eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"Impossible," you repeated, shaking your head. "I don't believe you will do any of that."

"Did you hit your head _that_ hard?"

"See, what I've gathered from the little data that we have on the Akatsuki and from your... peculiar actions, I've pieced together that you care very little for the goings-on of my village and also very little for the possible information that I may carry."

Kisame feigned a look of hurt. "How detrimental of you," he sighed. "And here I thought I had played my part of the villain well enough to have you fooled, and yet you are able judge me so quickly. I am indeed pained."

You smiled brashly. "'Villain'? What kind of horrible man would patch up a wounded girl's head with his own, precious cloak? Perhaps you should kill a few more people before you go soft."

"Some cheek you got there," he replied, face melting into a scowl while he purposefully evaded your question. "And were your earlier actions just to piss me off too?"

"Perhaps, because an angry man is a rash man, and a rash man does silly things," you said, and tilted your head to the side.

Kisame took a step towards you. You took one back. He moved closer. You repeated your previous action. This continued until you were pressed against a tree with Kisame looming over you. He was smug at the look of fear that had overtaken your features, your [e/c] eyes wide and distressed. Your childish antics were no match for him, no matter how many times you called him "Kisame-chan" or asked stupid questions. No, he could kill you in an instant.

"You're correct," he murmured silkily, teeth glinting. "An angry man is a rash man, and a rash man does silly things..."

He grabbed your chin and leaned down so his head was inches from yours. You pressed your skull into the bark.

"I-I-I..." you stuttered.

"Silly girl, have you forgotten the position you are in?" He clicked his tongue, a malicious grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Oh dear... Perhaps you need to be reminded?"

He trailed a finger down your cheek and jaw until it sat precariously on your collar bone. You shivered. He lowered his lips until they were just brushing your neck, hot air spreading across your perspiration-peppered skin. You sucked in a breathe.

He didn't know what he was doing. You were right, a rash man does silly things – he was proving your statement so easily. How could he remind you of your position in such a disgusting way? Surely he had lost his mind. But he was already so close... Your skin so warm and inviting to him... Samehada was practically purring against his back, making him press his lips against your throat to appease the hunger of both him and his sword. He could feel your pulse; it matched his own: wildly beating, hammering excitedly like a drum.

You didn't fight him, not even the tiniest flinch. Were you, perhaps, enjoying it? No, you should not have been. He was a monster and an enemy – enjoying such contact was out of the question. But...

You titled your head up just the slightest, and he could hear your breathing hitch as his lips parted, breath dancing across your flesh. Maybe you were... And perhaps he...? No. This was wrong. Not only were you – seemingly – finding his affection pleasing, so was _he. _No. No, no, no. Not his heart beat, not again!

Kisame pulled back, his face a mask of apathy as he released you and walked away. He tucked his chin further into his cloak collar to hide his burning cheeks. He would _not _allow you to control him in such a wicked way. Bewitching him into such a state... How conniving!

Kisame scoffed, trying his best to act unaffected by your closeness. "How boring, you barely squirmed."

Your eyes bugged and your face became a blasting furnace of heat. "W-what?! You did that just to get a reaction out of me?!"

He waved a hand nonchalantly as he moved further down the dirt path. "Of course. If I was really going to punish you I would use Samehada to chop you up a bit, not play with you in such a carefree manner. Although, you _were_ like putty in my hands... Perhaps I should remember this..."

"P-PERVERT!"

"Mmm..." he hummed, shaking a finger in the air, back still to you. "If I was a pervert then you wouldn't have enjoyed it, would you?"

"I-I d-didn't enjoy it!" You stammered.

"No?"

"No!"

"Then why did you give me such a warm invitation to that pretty little neck of yours, hmm?"

He stopped walking and titled his head back just enough to catch sight of your red face. He smirked. Now _you _were the one flustered, not him. It would seem he wasn't called a tailless tailed beast for no reason. Turning the tables on you was the easy part, now he just needed to keep himself under control and cause you to lose yours.

Yes, he would win this petty game. He would indeed. And in the end he would make you regret ever challenging him. You would be groveling at his feet just _begging _for mercy when he was done with you...

"Thanks to you this journey that should only be a day has turned into two," Kisame said, dropping a few more logs onto the fire as he waited for the fish to cook.

You snorted. "Don't go blaming me because you wasted time trying to molest me."

Kisame ignored you as he flipped his food over to let it cook on the other side. He could feel your eyes on him as he shifted sticks around and avoided the popping sparks. Despite his determination to treat you like the dust under his feet, he was still struggling to erase the images of your flushed skin and the feel of your beating pulse from his mind. And the fact that your scent was still stuck in his nose wasn't helping. You were making it increasingly difficult for him to accomplish his task and he felt himself begin to lose control of his temper. Most especially when you continued to gripe about his earlier actions towards you.

"You know," he grumbled, lifting the steamy and cooked fish to his lips, "For hating it so much, you sure did comply easily."

Your face burned brighter than the fire. "NO! S-stop making stupid things up! I was in a precarious situation and was trying to think it through!"

"And would that include allowing me access to your throat?"

"It's not so simple to think clearly when you're going through something like that!"

"So you made it easier for me?"

….

"I... Well... I was going to trick you!"

He snorted. "Just admit you enjoyed it."

"I won't because I didn't!" You yelled, throwing your clean stick on the ground in vexation. "Who would enjoy someone like _you_ touching them? You're an enemy – a coldblooded killer! Hands as stained as yours deserve to be buried with the bodies you piled up! And look at yourself!" You stood and pointed at his face. He frowned. "You're a monster! I don't want fish lips running all over my body, thank you!"

You hit a nerve.

Kisame's expression quickly dissolved from one of amusement to one of stoical indifference. He pushed himself to his feet and made his way through the dark trees, cloak billowing behind him like a shadow. He could feel your eyes on him, and soon the sound of crunching footsteps rapidly followed. A tug on the back of his cloak stopped him in his movement. He turned his just enough so his left ear was facing you.

"W...wait..." you panted. "Where... are you... going?"

"To get more fish," he replied coldly, shaking your grip off. "That's what sharks do, isn't it? Eat? Because we're monsters."

He hated himself more than ever at that moment. Emotions were not easily triggered inside him, but there was something about you that made everything reawaken as if he were a child again. Derogatory comments towards his appearance had bothered him for many years, but since his shinobi days he had quickly grown accustomed to hearing them and had learned to let the words melt into nothing. But when you said them...

Kisame gripped at his chest.

They _hurt_.

"You're just going to leave your prisoner unattended?!" You yelled. He kept walking. "I could run away, ya know!"

"Do what you want," he snapped in reply.

He _wanted _you to run away. Not so he could chase you, not so he could have a reason to kill you – so he could get _rid_ of you and the nonsensical pains in his chest that you caused. You were a burden he had not been expecting and he should have let Samehada eat your chakra along with the rest of your teammates'.

You huffed and snapping twigs echoed in the quiet woods as you ran after him. "What kind of captor lets their prisoner run off?!"

"And what kind of prisoner second guesses their chance of escape?!" He yelled, rounding on you. "I have a mission to fulfill and you're a waste of my time! Leave before I decide to kill you!"

You glowered up at him. "I would if I knew where I was!"

His eye twitched. "Ooh, I'm sorry. Did you want me to draw a map for you? Escort you? Walk into your freaking village holding your hand?"

"I don't understand you," you murmured, pursing your lips. "When you first attacked me you didn't kill my teammates. Then you patched my head up when you could have let me bleed – it wouldn't have killed me, just left me a little dizzy. Then you spent half your time threatening me, but haven't fulfilled a single one. Then you got so upset over a little comment and now you're just going to let me go? You're all bark and no bite!"

A vein popped in his forehead as he fought to keep his composure. "Trust me, there is a lot of bite in me that I'm fighting very hard to keep under control right now," he growled. "Bite that you seem so keen on releasing. Why do you insist on pushing me? Why don't you just leave? What is it that you want from me?"

You paused.

"I just want to know why."

"Why what?"

"Why you kidnapped me."

He clenched his jaw. "I think you already know."

"I don't think I do."

Kisame turned his head away. "Then it's not important."

"It is to me," you insisted, moving closer and putting your face in his. "Tell me."

"You'll still have to leave," he mumbled, trying ignore your proximity.

"Will it make me want to stay?"

He wrinkled his forehead in a frown."Who knows."

"Well, if it'll make me want to stay then I suppose it's too late," you replied, backing away with a shrug of your shoulders. "Because I already want to."

He blinked and looked down at you. "Heh?"

"I wanted to stay the moment you patched up my head," you pointed to your skull and smiled. "The way you touched me... It made me feel so warm. I've never felt that way before. And when I said you were a monster... the hurt on your face... I hadn't meant it! I was just so flustered because you were right..."

He was so dazed that he didn't realize he had grabbed your wrist and pinned you against a tree until he felt your breath on his face. He blinked, befuddled by his own actions. He contemplated pulling away before he did something stupid – again – but your flushed cheeks and gentle smile drew him closer.

He traced your lips with his thumb before tilting his head to the side and brushing them chastely with his own.

"Oh dear..." you murmured, still smiling. "Now I really _do _want to stay..."

He moved for your jawline, the beating of your pulse resonating through him. His chest was constricting, but for once he didn't care. He liked the feeling of his heart coming back to life. He had spent so many years quelling his emotions as he killed his comrades that he had forgot what it was like to feel it thrumming. To feel alive.

"Ah, look what you've done to me..." he breathed against your skin. "Turned me into a sappy human... I should feed you to Samehada before I lose my edge."

You laugh softly. "Like I said, you're all bark and no bite."

Kisame pulled back and the moonlight glinted off his teeth.

"Oh? Then perhaps I'll show you exactly _why_ sharks are known for their bite..."

…

"Pervert."

"Shut up."

[A/N]: THE LAST CHAPTER YAY. No more waiting an eternity for me to update! :'D OTL

I don't write kissing... I just don't. Can't. isucki'msosorry D8 So I'm sorry if those scenes are weird. Or the whole chapter is. whydoieventry*dies*


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